Don't Worry About It!

Don’t worry about it!

I believe I have elevated worrying to heights never before achieved. Of course I worry about "normal" things like my children, the environment, finances or not having thanked the hotel manager for his assistance in reserving a room. Although women sometimes seem to have cornered the market on worrying, even my female friends have had to encourage me not to sweat the small stuff; to "let things go".

A major concern for me is anything that comes out of my mouth. For example, I often wish I had a rewind button for the things I’ve said to my boys.

"Did you brush your teeth, please don't sit on the arm of the couch, don't make fun of your brother's hair, do you have something in mind for your girlfriend's birthday, your wife's birthday, did you wash your hands?"

Thankfully, most of these questions are merely a blip on their radar, forgotten moments after the last syllable has left my mouth. For more egregious comments, since there is no rewind button, I apologize to my boys for what I've said. Their way of letting me know that my apology is not only accepted, but unnecessary, is to groan. Sometimes now, they are so conditioned to expect an apology that they will save me the effort and advise me in advance that none is warranted.

It's natural to care so much about one's own family, but I even worry about casual comments I've made to complete strangers. I wasn't kidding about not thanking the hotel manager. The night of the big blizzard last February, my son was scheduled to arrive from New York City on the Megabus around 4 a.m. There was no way for anyone to pick him up at the bus station because the roads were so treacherous. Thankfully, I was able to make a reservation for him at a nearby hotel. The two hotel employees I talked with were very accommodating despite the lateness of the hour and the number of stranded travelers scrambling to reserve rooms. As I finished making the reservation, the manager said "thank you" but I had slipped out of the conversational rhythm. Instead of thanking him, I just said goodbye and hung up. Now, it was 4 in the morning, so I was too tired to lose sleep over it, but I managed to beat myself up for my “rudeness” as I drifted off.

Wise friends have told me over and over again, that unless I am purposely running roughshod over people, I shouldn't worry so much about what I say. Lately I have tried harder than ever to put this into practice. I am taking baby steps, but think I may be on the right track.

The other day I made a relatively benign comment to an acquaintance, but for some reason I immediately regretted it. Instead of calling her to awkwardly apologize for a slight she probably didn't even notice, I said to myself, "let it go." And I'm proud to report that I did!