A Story of Love and Loss

It was April 17, 2007, one day before the due date of their unborn son, Ryan Oliver.  Lynn and Rick Knause of Scott Township remember the day like it was yesterday.

Lynn visited the doctor five days before for a regular check-up. The doctor used a Doppler—a hand-held device used to listen to an unborn baby’s heartbeat—to listen to her baby boy’s heart, and everything was normal. Her check-up on April 17, however, was a different story.

The doctor repeated the Doppler exam and what he said following the exam would be words she would remember for the rest of her life. He did not hear a heartbeat. He sent her to Magee-Women’s Hospital of UPMC for an ultrasound. She called Rick at work and asked that he meet her at the hospital, where their bad news was confirmed: their baby boy had died. Lynn would need to deliver the baby later that day.

“It was like being part of a bad dream,” Lynn said. “Delivering my first baby was going to be scary enough, let alone having to deliver a baby who has died.”

When the doctor told Lynn and Rick that she would need to deliver the baby that day, Rick remembered feeling upset and empty. “It was difficult encouraging Lynn to push, and I thought to myself, ‘Why do we have to go through this?’”

After the delivery, Rick and Lynn remember their baby looking like he was just sleeping. “The nurse in our room said that he was perfect, but how could he be?” Lynn questioned. “He was not alive.”

“When I saw how perfect he looked, and that he had all of his fingers and toes, I was saddened even more,” Rick said.

The couple agreed to an autopsy, which found nothing medically wrong. The official cause of death was ruled a cord accident; the
doctors guessed that the umbilical cord had been compressed and limited the baby’s oxygen supply.

Although not a day goes by that Lynn and Rick don’t think about Ryan, they went on to have two more children: Zachary is three, and Julianne is one. They take their children to visit Ryan’s grave, which is next to Lynn’s grandparents’ graves, but their children are still too young to realize they have a brother.

We have not yet explained to them what happened, but plan to do that when both of them are old enough to understand,” Lynn said.

There are a number of reasons that could lead to the death of an unborn baby, according to Debra Carse, RNC, MSN, clinical educator and pregnancy loss support services coordinator at St. Clair Hospital. Chromosomal abnormalities are the most common reason for loss early in the pregnancy. Before 20 weeks, a pregnancy loss is considered a miscarriage. However, most miscarriages occur during the first trimester of pregnancy. Other possible causes of pregnancy loss include an abnormality of the uterus and/or reproductive organs, an infection, poorly controlled diabetes, untreated thyroid disease, kidney disease, lupus, severe high blood pressure, tobacco, drug, and alcohol use and high doses of caffeine.

“Sometimes mothers will say that they have not felt the baby move in a while, so they go to the doctor and find out the baby has no heartbeat,” Carse said. “Fetal kick counts, which can be measured when the mother is lying down and counting how long it takes to feel the baby move at least 10 times, are a good tool to use to determine fetal movement. If the baby takes longer than two hours to move 10 times, the mother should call the doctor and go to the hospital for a simple non-stress test. Most often, everything is fine and the mother goes home. Other times, but more rarely, that is not the case.”

To help couples heal after suffering a pregnancy loss, Carse coordinates two support groups that meet monthly at St. Clair. Hugs for Healing Hearts Pregnancy Loss Support Group meets from 7 to 8:30 p.m. on the second Monday of the month and is open not only to the couple, but their friends and family members as well. Couples need not have delivered at St. Clair to participate.

Hugs for Healing Hearts: A Subsequent Pregnancy After A Loss is for couples who are now pregnant after suffering a loss. The group meets from 7 to 8:30 p.m. on the third Monday of each month.

Carse also is coordinating the fourth annual Infant and Pregnancy Loss Walk and Memorial Service, which is scheduled for 6:30 to 8 p.m. on Saturday, Oct. 15, at the Upper St. Clair Community and Recreation Center’s Outdoor Pavilion. The event is free and open to all who have been affected by the loss of an infant or unborn baby. For more  information or to register, call (412) 942-5886. A reply with the name of the memorialized baby is encouraged.