As I sat down to write this blog, I feel conflicted.  I am so appalled by the number of people who wish to make proclamations/demands on another’s love life and at times on the loved ones that they love. For the record, I am not merely writing from my personal perspective of what I have experienced.  I am also writing on the basis of listening to others discuss what is on their hearts in light of others placing too many limits and terms on unconditional love.   

I was always under the impression that true love is letting go.  Letting go of one’s inhibitions, insecurities, control, and most of all letting one’s guard down to realize and maximize one’s truth is essential to growth in our life.  In my line of work, I am fortunate to work with individuals who celebrate love and devotion to their significant other and loved ones in numerous ways.  I never ever judge. I know that in my core what is for me is for me, and no force shall change that unless I feel directed or inspired to do so in my life.  Yes, we are all entitled to our opinions, and I am not suggesting that our truth be mute. However, how far does one impose their impressionable mind upon another? And if someone is doing so, does that person’s love come with restrictions?  

I sincerely hope that if one projects their feelings on another that they don’t feel infallible.  Nevertheless, the question that I ask myself is how, when, and where in life should our love language be challenged and critiqued?  Therefore, if someone passes judgment, how do we listen objectively while still seeing the love that they are attempting to convey from their heart?  Is there a magic formula to this particular method of communication in light of love? 

         Falling and staying in love with someone isn’t always going to be easy.  There will be moments of joy, anger, tears, laughter, and of course joy.  It’s when you want to be together through all of your experiences that you are truly in love.  It is with these two statements that I begin this paragraph to explain that the covenant between two individuals, whether in marriage or in dating,  can’t be defined by anyone else’s standards.  I do understand that people have the best of intentions when expressing their views on your love language.  Nevertheless, you make the ultimate decision in light of what is best for your heart.  In the spirit of assisting you with responses to people who just can’t seem to stay out of you business, I offer the following suggestions:

1. Don’t Take It Personally- This is a hard statement to swallow.  Please don’t give others the power over you with their words/assumptions.  Know your own truth!
2. Objectify the Comments of the Underlying Message-   This statement for me has taken some time, tact, and discernment.  I have learned that most people having an underlying message with their sentiments.  Coincidently, the trick is learning how to remain tactful in the midst of the conversation. 
3. Disengage from Criticism/Ignore It
4. Don’t Ask for Opinions If You Can’t Take It
5. Show Kindness- The medicine to gossip, meanness, or jealousy is kindness, patience, and a quiet spirit—most of the time. Sometime the more you show in love and the less you react with your verbal/nonverbal cues is the best thing for any situation. Nine times out of ten, the situation will work itself out if you give the individuals in your life the time to contemplate, heal, and grow at their own pace. 

For more love insight and info about creative ways to hold a fabulous romantic or celebratory intimate event, visit www.designingloveinc.com or email neal@designingloveinc.com. We are excited to have an office in Memphis, TN now. Thanks for all of your support and feedback in our expansion. Now with nursing school and a business to run, new blogs will be posted as quickly as our new schedule allows. Thanks for all of your support!